Monday, December 28, 2015

Business intelligence-One

Business intelligence-One 
-----------------------------------------
https://soundcloud.com/knbharathi/business-intelligence-one

Click here to buy Nagendra Bharathi's poems

Business intelligence-1

Business intelligence-1
-----------------------------------------
Basic analytics are three for
Business intelligence 

Domain analytics to
Define the source and use

Data analytics to
Design the source and use

Process analytics to
Develop the source and use

Business intelligence to improve the
Bottom line and top line
-----------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi 
Click here to buy Nagendra Bharathi's poems

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Seasons have reasons

Seasons have reasons
----------------------
Leaves are the reasons for
Fall season

Wind is the reason for 
Winter season 

Flowers are reasons for 
Spring season 

Sun is the reason for
Summer season 

Seasons have reasons to 
Celebrate the Nature
------------------------Nagendra Bharathi 
Click here to buy Nagendra Bharathi's poems

Friday, November 6, 2015

Sparrows' seasons

Sparrows' seasons
-------------------------
Spring is the season for 
Sparrows to trees

Summer is the season for 
Sparrows to sky 

Fall is the season for 
Sparrows to land

Winter is the season for 
Sparrows to hide

Season to season 
Sparrows have reason 
-----------------------Nagendra Bharathi 
Click here to buy Nagendra Bharathi's poems 

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Sunday, September 13, 2015

Color intelligence- Humorous article

Color intelligence - Humorous article 

It all started with RGB (Red, Green and Blue) and then moved to VIBGYOR (Violet, Indigo, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange and Red) and now hundreds and hundreds of shades of colors.

One day, I went to a Mall, of course with my wife. As you know, all the Malls are by the ladies, for the ladies and of the ladies. We just accompany them. That is all. My wife entered into a textile shop and started spending time on selecting the so called piece, Sari. As you know, this will take several hours. Hence I tried to escape but on sensing this, she gave me an important job. ‘Please select a Sari for me in ‘ Botanic blue ‘   . I was little bit confused, why little bit, fully confused.. What is this Botanic blue? I have seen the color called blue.  I politely asked her ‘what is this species called botanic blue’. She showed me a sari and said ‘the same color but with light orange tinge mixed with it’

OK. I took that Sari as a sample piece and ventured into the crowd of saris and could find one and showed it to my wife. She threw a nasty look at me and said ‘this is atomic blue, not botanic blue. Ok leave it. I myself will find it ‘as though she is purchasing this sari for me. I stood there as a security statue for few hours and then I found her choosing a black sari. She said ‘This one is better for me’. Had this decision taken earlier, I would have shown my color intelligence to her as I have no problem with black and white colors.

She  is testing  my color intelligence at various places – in grocery stores, asking me to buy the cereal packet with ‘grim red ‘ color – in sweet stall , asking me to buy laddu in ‘stream orange’ color. I have difficulties in distinguishing even red with orange. How could I differentiate ‘grim’ and ‘stream’?  For me Black and white are the colors which I could easily differentiate like night and day. But what about these hundreds and hundreds of shades of colors. 

 I learnt that there are various training institutes to teach ‘Business intelligence ‘and ‘Artificial intelligence’. Please let me know if there is a coaching centre for ‘Color intelligence’.
---------------------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi


Events in the evening - Humorous article

Events in the evening - Humorous article
--------------------------------------------------------
It is natural for an ordinary human being like me to have the intention of enjoying an evening. On sensing my intention, my sofa was a bit relieved as it would be free from bearing me and my gyrating movements over it. The dangerous position of the springs inside that lifeless being was very much evident from the painful noise emanated from that sofa. Unnoticing all these happenings I started my venture out to enjoy the evening.

On my way to the door, I was disturbed by the noise coming out from my TV and found two reporters there happily narrating the shooting incident happened in our neighborhood. When I changed the channel I found a fat lady coughing, sneezing and explaining the nuances of leading a healthy life. I switched to another channel. There again the same neighborhood shooting incident and this time the reporters were very very happy to confirm the death of two people. I don’t know why these media guys are very much excited about these sad incidents.  I switched off the TV and strolled on the road.

There is a restaurant nearby wherein the potato chip is cooked in different format on different days and served with different names. I was curious to find out the name of this chip today. It was called ‘Chomsky’ on that particular day. The previous day, it was decorated with a different name ‘garlandi’. Well, with the same taste and same ingredients but with different name, this dish is luring the eaters to this restaurant, me included.

Then, visit to the park.  When the municipal authorities find few saplings creeping out from the ground, they immediately surround them with bamboo sticks and call it as park. This is one such park. It is more an amusement place than a park. Noise of the kids is more than the noise of the crows flying around there.  The kids were being compelled to play the see-saws, swings and what not to the satisfaction of their parents or grandparents but to the dissatisfaction of their own self. I could not tolerate this cruelty to the children and left the place and return home.

Without knowing how much cruel I am to the sofa, I  jumped on it. It emitted a painful voice saying ‘I am also like those children in the park’.  Unheard, I slept on it with chips and children on mind.

--------------------------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi

Saturday, September 12, 2015

Walk and Dog – Humorous article

Walk and Dog – Humorous article
----------------------------------------------------

Some people are fond of this act of walking. They say that this is good for health; for heart; for lungs. Some even go to the extent of saying that it is good for finger, nail, hair etc.  But I have a different opinion. Everybody has a right to have his own opinion. Right.

To me, it is me and my bed in the early morning. Two three pillows surrounding me and the blanket over me and of course the bed under me. That is it. As simple as that.

But with the passage of time, something has happened. I started feeling very tired even though I am not doing much work at office. When I consulted my doctor, he advised me to go for walking. What!  Me and walking. Never.  But considering the profession of the person advising me and the condition of my body revealed through various medical reports, I have to succumb to this act of walking.

One morning, not early morning, I went to a nearby park where I found to my surprise and excitement that there are many people in this world having problems like me. I also joined them with a sense of satisfaction.

There is a small circular road inside the park. I joined the parade of walking specimens there. Suddenly I heard a voice ‘If you walk slowly, take the far left position’ and the voice with the body crossed me pushing me to the left side. OK. I joined the left side parade. We all moved like a goods train slowly and steadily. The only difference is that we were not making that sound ‘Oh Oh, Chikku Chiku Oh Chiku’.

Suddenly something happened and my compartment fell down. Sorry I fell down. There was a dog entering into our parade and creating chaos. In that process I fell over the dog and then the dog fell over me and we were struggling to come out of that strong bond. After some time, there was a running race between me and the dog. The security guard intervened and the dog left the race.

I completed my walking process and sat on a bench there. When I sent a casual glance to the gate, I could see that the same dog sitting there, revengefully looking at me.  Though fear is not a feeling new to me, this dog with its savageous teeth sent some bad signals to my spine. After half an hour I gained some strength and approached the gate.

The dog stood up as though it is welcoming me. I slowly crossed the creature. It followed me. I increased my speed. The dog too. I started running. The dog also started running, following me with a fierceful barking.  The race again started. At last I won the race and narrowly escaped from the teeth of that dog and landed inside my house and closed the gate. The dog was there at the gate with a disappointed look.

Looking at me, my wife asked ‘It seems that you had a great exercise.’ Oh, it was a great escape.
----------------------------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi


Friday, September 11, 2015

Myth about managers – Humorous article

Myth about managers – Humorous article

Many people think that managers lead a very happy relaxed life updating excel sheets and attending conference calls.  But let me share with you the manager’s activities and then you decide.

Every morning, his alarm bell is the call from his American counterpart asking the status report of the project.  Following is the call from his boss who would scold him on the red status of some other project not related to this manager. Having so many projects maintained in the same excel sheet is the problem with his boss but this manager would silently swallow the scolds. What to do. The other end is his super boss.

On reaching office, he would encounter so many HR related issues. One of them would be the resignation letter submitted by a key resource in his project. He has to discuss with him and convince him with a better pay packet than the one he got from other company.

Then starts the saga of conference calls. His team members, without understanding even a single syllable uttered by the American counterpart would agree to complete a thirty days job in ten days. The manager has to modify his project plan and excel sheet multiple times to make it happen.

Meanwhile a small subproject would arrive with onsite opportunity in Paris for only one resource. Many key resources would show interest in seeing the Eiffel tower. He has to do some background work to convince the customer to convert this project   as an offshore project thereby converting the Eiffel tower in the minds of those employees to Paisa tower.  What to do. Employee conflict is a very dangerous thing for the project.

Sometimes, the manager would use ‘F’ word and ‘S’ word against the team members to control them and to show them that he is an angry man , but he might not know that the employees  were using more bad words against him in local language as soon as they come out of his cabin.

Interaction with HR for getting suitable resource is another headache. They would send a senior resource saying they are more dependable than juniors but training those Cobol guys for Java project is another nightmare.

Junior guys on the other hand would do some part time job in the project alongwith facebook, twitter status updates. But in the timesheet, somehow they would show 150 percent utilization of their time for the project.

 The time will fly and a day will come when this company would be acquired by another company. A person who was sent out by this manager for poor performance would take charge as his boss from another company and this manager will be given pink slip.

Back home, his kids are ready for marriage. With lot of difficulties, using the gratuity and PF, he would arrange for their marriage. When he goes with the wedding cards to invite his relatives, it would take some time for his relatives to identify him as he has not attended any of their functions due to his work pressure as manager. Now tell me, is the manager’s life relaxed and peaceful?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi


Thursday, September 10, 2015

Cause of loss – Humorous article

Cause of loss – Humorous article

I never thought that the amount of ten thousand dollars I had deposited in that retail bank would cause the global recession. I don’t know the difference between retail banking and investment banking, but I sure know the difference between vegetable market and share market.

I buy vegetables for improving health and shares for improving wealth. But see what happened. Vegetable prices are on the rise. And the share prices down. Hitting me on both sides, health and wealth. But I had never imagined that my money at the retail bank is the cause for this loss.

I heard these Casino investment bankers had misused my money in retail bank thereby failing them and failed many of us. I don’t care about this Lehman brothers or sisters but I do worry about my brothers and sisters who lost their jobs.

I also found about that my ten thousand dollars was used by the retail bank to lend to various sectors for the productive use of land, labor, capital and knowledge. Meanwhile the casino bankers bought my derived money, the loans for creating the so called security papers and sold them in the global market.

When the loans get defaulted, those papers lost value and the investment market fell affecting the real economy as well. Now I am also jobless. We had also seen the below zero level interest rate and printing of paper money to boost the market.

Economy is still recovering and the Chinese downturn is also sending some red signals to Newyork downtown. Fed is still watching to raise the interest rate. My money is still lying in that retail bank without earning interest.  I am also spending more to buy the same vegetables with my little savings which is also losing its value. Let me pray God to reverse this global trend.

All due to my innocent act of depositing my money in that retail bank. I should have kept it in my wallet though I would have required a bigger one for this purpose. Or else I should have given this money to you guys to keep it safe. Now see what happened.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Cockroach Approach - Humorous article

Cockroach Approach - Humorous article 

When the movie ‘Enter the dragon ‘entered India, I also entered into the passion for Kung Fu and Karate like many at that time. I wanted to become another Bruce Lee. I tried many Kung Fu / Karate schools and I become a bruise lee instead of Bruce lee with lot of bruises all over my body. The Karate masters used my body as their testing ground to improve their skills.  Then I decided that I should find a suitable master for me who will not inflict even a single injury on me.  I tried, tried, tried and at last I could find one.

As you know, there are different schools of Karate. Chieu Chieu Karate, Bieu Bieu Karate, Ching chang Karate, Dissum Dissum Karate etc. Our master teaches a different form of Karate. That is called ‘Cockroach Karate’.

When I entered the room of my Karate master, I could see him keenly watching a closed glass jar. I could see that there was a cockroach inside the jar moving here and there. I approached him. Suddenly this cockroach stopped moving.

Karate master looked at me and smiled. ‘Look. How intelligent this cockroach is.  On sensing your movement it stopped moving and taking position’. ‘What position Sir, it must be afraid of me ‘

‘What. Cockroach and fear. Never. Have you ever observed how cockroach reacts when you guys try to hit it with some poisonous gas or liquid? It never goes back. It comes straight towards you.  That is called cockroach approach.  That shows that cockroach is very courageous. Now look here. It is taking position.’

‘What position sir. It is flat in horizontal position.’
‘You fool. Bend down and look at the rods of steels hidden below its body.’
‘Sir I am not seeing any rods there - only the feeble legs of that cockroach.’
‘Again, you are mistaken. You need to see the technique being used by the cockroach. Not the feeble legs. Iron rod technique’.

‘OK Sir’. I started thinking about the zoology lab where I dissected the cockroach. Hope you would still remember the pungent smell of that dissection box and the cockroaches and frogs you dissected in the lab. It is all the more, very difficult with the cockroaches. You have to place it on the thin wooden board inside the water tray and slowly spread the legs and pin them on the board. In this process, possibilities are there that the legs would snatch away from the body and would start floating on water.

‘Be watchful. Look at the front legs now.’ The master roared like a lion. ‘These are the techniques I learned from cockroach.  It bends the legs back and then push in front of the opponent.’ This is cockroach punch. And  look at the backend leg.  This is cockroach kick.  ‘

‘Sir. Great Sir. I have never observed cockroach with this perspective. Oh. What a kick Sir. It seems that its legs are now going down inside its body.  I could not see that Sir. Seems it is taking position Sir.’

I was very impatient. My teacher was very happy on seeing my enthusiasm. ‘Be calm, my dear child – oh sorry – my dear old man. ‘

‘Sir, this horizontal position, no- karate position is very frightening, Sir. It is going to do that cockroach approach again.

Suddenly the cockroach attacked the glass and fell down inside the jar. ‘Sir. I am saved.  Had the jar not there, I would have been attacked. Sir.  I am very much afraid.’ I said in feeble voice.

‘Don’t worry. I am here to protect you.’ My master’s protective voice.
‘Now you have learnt three techniques called cockroach techniques. Cockroach approach.  Cockroach position, cockroach kick. ‘
“Have you seen the movies Spider man, Batman?’ 
‘Yes sir’
‘I am planning to take a movie ‘Cockroach man’ and I am the hero there demonstrating the cockroach karate techniques. If you learn well, you could be one of the villains in that movie’.

 ‘Oh villain no Sir’. Then I pacified myself.  After all today’s villain is tomorrow’s hero. Master interrupted my thought process. ‘Now go home and practise this.  By the by, do you have cockroaches in your home. Or else I can donate few cockroaches to you'. ‘What?'  I have heard about donation of money, food and even blood.  But cockroach donation. Something new to me.

I politely refused.’No Sir, I have few cockroaches in my bathroom. ‘
‘Then you are a blessed man.  Go to that bathroom. Learn few techniques from that cockroach and come back next week’
‘Sir I also take bath in that bathroom. Will it disturb the cockroaches there? Is it OK Sir’
‘No never, not in future. That bathroom is the Shaolin temple of cockroaches. It is your training ground. Don’t ever use that for taking bath.  ‘
‘Then where should I go to take bath Sir. May I come to your house and use your bathroom’
 ‘What. You idiot. Even the beginner like you have few cockroaches in your bathroom. I am the master.  I have plenty of cockroaches in my bathroom. I go to my neighbor’s house to take bath. You can also try that. But don’t use your bathroom which is a sacred place.’
‘OK sir’. I left him and reached home. 

           I entered the dragon- sorry -entered the bathroom. I was in a cockroach mood to learn the cockroach techniques.There, in that bathroom, I could see one cockroach, and my wife with a ‘hit spray tube ‘pointing towards it.

I said ‘Stop’
She said ‘Why ‘
I said ‘Cockroach ‘
She said ‘Yes ‘
I said ‘No’
It was like a Manirathnam movie ( in India)  with fewer words embedded with lot of meaning.

            Then I narrated my karate story to her.She looked at me angrily. She thundered ‘Me or Cockroach’.To be with my wife or To be with cockroach – that is the question now.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi

Monday, September 7, 2015

Test your dream – Humorous article

Test your dream – Humorous article 

Do you have any friend who motivates you to such an extent that you get into some deep trouble. I also have one such friend. One day he told me ‘Live your dream, man; live your dream‘. I said. ‘What. Living my dream? How can I live my dream? I always have lions and tigers in my dream. How can I live with those animals?  

‘You…, dream is a metaphor’.
‘Whataphor’
‘Metaphor’
‘Oh thataphor. Referring to something else’.
‘Yes. It refers to your goals in your life’.
‘Ok But the problem is that I have too many girls in my life.  Sorry. Too many goals in my life.’
‘Choose the best one.’

‘OK I want to become a professor, but student is the problem .I want to become a manager. But team is the problem; I want to become an actor. Ya. That is a good one.  I might be a problem to public.  But no problem for me. OK I have chosen the goal. To become an actor – that is my dream.’   

I informed my friend and rushed to a film institute and met the principal. He looked at me and cried with happiness. ‘Hi. Where have you been man? You look like Denzel Washington.  You can become a good actor. Join our institute immediately and pay the fee of Rs. 25000 now itself.’ ‘What. Denzel Washington!’ I paid the fee immediately. Then he said’ you have to learn fighting and dancing.  Separate fee for that.’

 What, fighting and dancing. I do fight with my wife at home. But she only wins all the time. Even in verbal light that is the result. I am also fighting with BP, Diabetes and Asthma. No. Physical Fighting is not good for my health, at this age.

Dancing! We are supposed to move our hips here and there. But my hip is everywhere all around my body.  First of all, I have to locate that part - the proper hip and make it move.  I am ready to move my hip but I don’t know whether my hip is ready to move with me. Not possible.

I told him. ‘Sir, Denzel Washington is a character artiste. Let me play the character role. No fighting and dancing.’ He looked at me sympathetically and then agreed. ‘Ok, But you have to bring all your emotions to your face ‘.

‘Sir, if I bring my emotion to my face, I might get into wheezing, as I have asthma.’
‘No problem you can even cough if you want to.  The more diseases you have, more effective the non-verbal acting. And then, you have to deliver this dialogue powerfully.   Now try this dialogue’.
‘You are not judged by the color of your skin, but by the content of your character’
I repeated ‘You are not judged by the color of your pant, but by the color of your shirt.’
‘This is not Textile stores, man. This is acting institute. . Try this one.’
‘We should fight in the air; we should fight in the beach; we should fight in the street, in the hill, we shall never surrender to the enemy.’
‘Sir, Let us surrender to the enemy Let us live peacefully.’ This fighting, even in dialogue is not good for my health”

‘Ok Then try singing. Do you sing?’
‘Yes sir, I sing in the bathroom.’
‘That is within four walls. ‘
‘Sir, sometimes I leave the door open and there are only three walls ‘
‘Ok three walls.  But the issue here is not about the number of walls. There you are at home No problem for anybody other than your wife. But here you have to sing in public.  There could be problem for many. Anyway, sing a song for me.’
‘Solomon Grundy, Born on Monday’

“Stop, Don’t let him live till Sunday. Let him die on Monday itself. “Well Only one role is left for you now. That is Director’s role. You can depute the work to your assistant directors and sit on a chair and Say ‘start ' ‘cut’. Ok”

‘Sir one small doubt. When should I say start and when should I say cut.’
“Good question. I like that. When you start, say ‘start’. When you are finished, say ‘cut’ ”
“Thank you, good teaching Sir ‘Cut ‘“. 

                   I woke up from that dream.  Thank God. I have not lived that dream and I have not wasted that amount of Rs.25000.  Let me consult my wife and work on something which suits me as she is the suitable person who selects even my suit.

------------------------------------------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Love has too many eyes – Humorous article

Love has too many eyes – Humorous article 
Proverb says that ‘Love is blind’. But I am seeing that love has many many eyes. Nowadays boys and girls verify so many things before they love. They verify religion, caste, monetary position, status etc. Boys see the beauty; girls see the bounty; the money. And there is no love at first sight.  Love happens after many sights. After verifying with many websites.

Face book is a mass book for this purpose. But it is also fakebook. Fifty percent of facebook ids are fake ids.I know one person who went after that facebook picture profile of a girl and later on found her as a grand old lady. But generation Y  is very very careful. They verify facebook profile with google profile, linked in, twitter profile. They have so many eyes.

And love is also not one sided. It has so many sides. This one to one relationship is also undergoing changes. You go to college campus or office canteen. You would see boys surrounded by girls, girls surrounded by boys. There is one too many and even many to many relationships. Advanced database relationship concepts!.

They call it as friendship. There is a very thin line between friendship and love. If you are on that side, you are friend. If you come to this side, you will become lover.  And you are permitted to move here and there. Today you are lover. Tomorrow you could be friend and day after tomorrow you could be lover.

I don’t know whether the cinema borrowed this from society or society borrowed it from cinema. In many movies, the heroes would sing, dance with all the girls in the movie and then call them as friends at the end of the movie. In old movies it was different. There, they danced with them only in dream songs and then call them as sister in real or reel life.  In present day movies, they have become friends. Thank God.

Go to the theatre. You will see a long long queue inside the cinema hall , longer than the queue where you stood to buy the ticket. That queue is called pop corn queue. I don’t know whether they come to see the movie or to eat pop corn. Then I found out the reason. The pop corn is given in a big cup. Sorry that is called pop corn tub. They use this to cover their face. Hiding their identity. If you enter the cinema hall, you could see lot of pop corn faces, as though a pop corn festival is happening.

Seems that love on demand is also available. There is something called software as a service in cloud environment. Here it is love as a service in cloudy environment. If you go to beach, you would see that the lovers prefer to sit behind the boat. I don’t know whether that is a sacred love or secret love. These peanut / groundnut vendor boys become very rich because of these lovers. Nowadays, these vendor boys come with credit card machines. They ask ‘Visa?  or Master? ‘.

If you are an IT guy you have to be very careful. It depends on whether you are a hired junior or fired senior. If you are hired junior no issues. If you are fired senior, even though you have so many visa stamps in your passport your visa card will not be accepted. That is why, girls prefer non-software guys now.

Love has many many eyes. From college to office, to theatre to beach, we have seen so many eyes. Is Love Blind?

----------------------------------------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Face book likes – Humorous article

Face book likes – Humorous article
The problem with me is that I think I am a great poet but others don’t think so. I have written more than hundred poems and shared them in face book. But I got only two likes.  One is of course myself and the other is my wife. It is not her fault. She has shared the password with me and I used that for that another like.

Though I have more than hundred friends in face book, my friends are not mutually helpful. I wanted to try something unique in poetry. Hence I chose to write poetry on technology and management. Now you know why I don’t get likes.

For example, take this situation. The program director conducted a meeting to identify one business analyst, one technical architect and one project manager for one of their onsite projects in Paris. Not this Parrys corner in Chennai, This is Paris in France.

All the members of his team, all the 50 were present in office one hour before the meeting starts - Usually they come one hour late.  But the Eiffel tower in Paris had brought them one hour earlier. Program director was very happy to see them all. He asked. ‘Who are all willing to work in this project?’ Everybody lifted their hands. Some people lifted both their hands to show that they are doubly willing to go to Paris.

‘This project is on banking domain.  For business analyst role, I know there is only one person here who has that experience.’ Other business analysts stood up and said in one voice. ‘Sir, even though we are from different domains, after reading the  business requirement  document sent by you yesterday, we all took a crash course on banking domain last night Sir. A senior banker who was suspended ten years back for lack of banking knowledge  and could not sleep at nights due to some sleeping disorder is giving us  training on banking. The course is ‘Banking in one night’. We took this course. Now we are all confident of handling banking domain business requirements Sir.’

‘Ok let me see. Then for technical architect role. This is a Java project.’  Members skilled in Microsoft windows and Macrosoft doors also raised their hands. ‘Sir, Java is an easy language which we studied in our BE five years back. We can refresh that faster than our computer refresh Sir. ‘

 ‘For the role of project manager, they want a qualified PMP, Project management professional.  But I am not seeing any body here with that certification.’ Few project managers raised their voice. ‘Sir, We have closed many projects without completing them. We all have practical project management knowledge. Passing PMP is very easy for us. We have already bought the PMP materials and applied for that exam yesterday night. We all will be qualified as certified PMPs in a week’s time sir.’

‘OK Let me look into your profiles in detail. Thanks. You can leave now. After an hour an email came from the Program director to the team members. ‘I have chosen the following people for this project. Congrats to them. The names are as follows... 1,2,3,4’

The last sentence is ‘Due to cost constraint, the customer would prefer to have this project executed in offshore at Chennai and the working hours  would be from night 10 PM to Morning 6 AM to suit the customer’s need. I’m very sorry that I could not include more members in this team though you all have all shown immense interest in this project’

The Eiffel tower in the minds of those selected people turned into Paisa tower and started falling. But my poetic tower started rising and came out with this poem on solution lifecycle.

“Business analyst Explains the solution
Technical architect Designs the solution
Project manager Plans the solution
Program director Markets the solution
Customer’s business Rejects the solution”

This poem was also rejected by my friends.   

Then I tried project management related poetry. The scenario is this. Conference call.  There are four people from Chennai- One project manager and three members from his team.  This is a different team. Not that team.  And on the other side, project coordinator – a Chinese from Shangai, the customer– an American from Newyork. As you know each has their own accent. Chinese accent, American accent, and our tanglish accent.

This conference call is to understand the business requirements and finalise the timeframe for various activities of the project. Only audio; no video. The Chinese coordinator greeted all. ‘Ching chang ching.’American followed with ‘GooMorning al’.Our Chennai team responded with ‘YES SIRS. OK SIRS. GOOD MORNING SIRS.

The other side could not understand why our team said ‘yes sirs and ok sirs’ in addition to ‘good morning sirs’ as the discussion is yet to start. Anyhow, the Chinese coordinator started explaining the requirements and the timeframe etc. But our team could not understand even a single sentence.  But whenever they find a gap or pause, they filled it up with ‘yes sir ‘‘ok sir’ They were eagerly expecting the American customer to say something.

‘Choom Cham’ and then a pause. Oh the Chinese is done.  Our team in chorus said ‘YES SIR OK SIR ‘Then the American started his version. ‘Itsss abbboouuut  eejjj;lkkak;lkdgsnn,.mg,amhgljl;j;ll;klkl;kdg;jl;lj;ljassssssssssssssssssssssssshjjjj’

The Chinese and American were discussing. ‘Ching Chang ching.  Dishhum dishuum dishsuuum . Ching Chang ching.  Dishhum dishuum dishsuuum . Ching Chang ching.  Dishhum dishuum dishsuuum’ .  Our team was sitting like this ‘ Ah  Ah ‘

Then there was a long pause and  silence.  Our team came to know that the conference call is over and the American and Chinese have already left. The team members  looked at each other and the project manager declared. ‘Now we know the business requirement and timeframe. ‘Do you have any doubts?’‘NO SIR’ and the team left the room.

The poor Project manager was awaiting the ‘Minutes of the Meeting’ mail from his Onsite coordinator to know the business requirement and the timeframe.  I wrote a poem on management model.

“Twitter for Status reports
Face book for Group discussion
Skype for Conference calls
Cloud for Infra structure
Home for Project management”

I got one more like from a project manager; He also commented. ‘I like the last sentence. Home for project management but I don’t like status reports, group discussions and conference calls’

Then I tried something dangerously different. I decided to follow the path of all poets and wrote poem on a subject which is a Favorite subject for all poets.  Guess what. It starts with the letter L Yes- Love. Poem on Love. As you know, if you have to write a poem on love you have to fail in love or to pretend that you have failed in love. But fortunately or unfortunately I was successful in my love and married my OWN wife. I want to  be very clear in my communication. Right.

LOVE. The poem has only three  sentences. Each sentence has immense meaning and feeling in it. Please listen carefully and don’t get too much emotional. The first sentence.
‘He                                     loves                                 her’.
 I will explain this sentence. He does not love him or them.  He loves her and only her.
The next sentence. Equally powerful.
‘She                                      loves                                 him.’
The love is mutual. It is not a triangular or rectangular love as happening in our movies. Then the third and final sentence. Very powerful. Please listen carefully.  Anyhow I will also explain.
‘Love                              is                                                          that.’
 ‘Love                                          is                                                that. ‘Not this. THAT. You have to connect with the previous three sentences to get the flow of meaning and feeling.

 ‘He loves her. She loves him. Love is that.’ I know you all get the experience of a powerful love through this powerful poem. But this time I got only one like. My wife has changed her password and has not revealed that to me after reading this poem .
--------------------------------------------------------Nagendra Bharathi